Dogs, Babies and Ladies

I’m not trying to start any fights but I don’t like the term Fur Baby.  It’s okay if you do. 

If my dog, Franny, was my Fur Baby and I was her relatively alopecic mom I could say things like, “We’re not going anywhere, young lady, until you brush your neck!”  Which could be fun. 

But if it ever got out that she’s got body parts stashed in murder holes across the back yard, society would demand that I respond with an emotion other than resignation, and I’m not sure I could. 

My discomfort with Fur Baby stems from how I feel about actual babies.  Here’s how I feel about actual babies: I love them.  This is great because I am baby rich right now.  I get to look at babies in real time.  I get to look at babies on Facebook.  I get to meet my niece baby in less than a week and I am jumping up and down in my chair I am so excited.    

I am a pro-baby candidate.  I want to be an eccentric friend to and holder of the world’s babies.  But I don’t feel called in any profound way to be a baby’s mom.  Evidently, this is strange. 

When I hear Fur Baby it is usually in a meet-and-greet situation and a woman who is trying to size me up says it. 

How old are you?

33.

Are you married?

No. 

Do you have kids?

No. 

Then what are you?

I have a dog?

A Fur Baby!  Hold onto that.  Oh look, it’s Helen!

The distinction I’d like to make is that for as long as I can remember I’ve wanted a dog.  My stewardship of a dog is the outcome of that specific longing.  I did not shove Dog into a baby-shaped abyss in my heart.  There is no baby-shaped abyss in my heart.  Just limitless capacity for Dog. 

I will be fine if Helen’s friend doesn’t understand me.  We don’t burn women alive for being childless and strange.  Not in the USA.  Not anymore. 

My original point (Fur Baby makes me uncomfortable because I think that you think I have shopped for a christening dress for my dog) just took an unexpected and serious turn.  I’m surprised too and don’t really know what to say from here.   I was trying to say something sweet about dogs. 

It’s discouraging to be a woman and feel alien in the company of other women.  That’s what I’m getting at.  That’s where I end up if the beginning of our effort to understand each other involves Fur Baby.