Ask Fran

Dear Fran,

Coming out of College, I was living a life, and then out of Grad School I was living about the same life with a lot more debt. Now, after working a long time, I have some level of (gross) "prestige?" But I still have the debt. Should I just hang on until I'm in my early 40s (not that far away these days), or consider other options: go full Heisneberg, or move to Guam????

I'll take my answer off-call.

Dear Caller,

The only debt worthy of repayment is vengeance.  Deliver it swiftly and with vigor.  Otherwise -- from experience -- you run the risk of forgetting the offense. 

Frankly, I’ve never concerned myself with the consequences of financial debt.

About prestige, here’s what I know:  pee on as many things as you can as often as you can.  Other dogs will pee on top of your pee.  But keep peeing!  Dig your claws in the earth and kick up chunks so that others know you were there and unaffected by their pee.

Years after the long night takes you, your odors will linger.  A discerning nose can read a summary of your biography that includes your sex, age, diet, fertility, objects you have touched, places you have traveled, and your emotional state.  As far as I know, none of the glands secrete information about your credit history.

That said, I have always identified as a Lilies-of-the-Field type.  Unless, again, we are pondering vengeance.  And if we are, you must pay all of that back with predatory interest.