Hostile

Dear Blank Page,

I just want you to know that you haven’t won.  Like so many candidates, you may be leading in the polls but you’ll get no concession speech from me, sir.  No, not any time soon.  Mark my words, sweet adversary, my movement has miles to go.  Miles to go! 

Dear Blank Page,

You’re like an American Cold War propaganda film.  You’d have us believe you are a symbol of Possibility, Potential Earning Power, Freedom, and Bootstrap Tugging. But I see right through you, all the way down to your oppressively rigged bleach-white core. 

Dear Blank Page,

What are you looking at?!

Dear Blank Page,

I’m leaving you.  We’ve grown apart.  God dammit you are hot, and we had something, we really did.  It’s just that you’re kind of boring.  Maybe not to everyone, but to me you are.    

Dear Blank Page,

There’s something about your face that makes me want to smudge it. 

Dear Blank Page,

I don’t want to fight.  But you bring it out in me.  I’m a very passive person and woefully unpracticed in the expression of hostility that the mere sight of you triggers.  So when I come at you with ugly crying face and try to stab-n-grab through your stomach wall with my hand, that’s where it’s coming from. 

Dear Blank Page,

You are the worst kind of coward.  I know you know that saying nothing is communicating something.  It’s just that you could weasel out of it in court if you had to. 

Dear Blank Page,

Just because I should have gone to bed two hours ago and am deciding to go to bed now, doesn’t mean you’ve won.  I feel sorry for you.  You’ll never know the sweet release of sleep and how beneficial it can be to the physical and emotional well being of a… being.

Dear Blank Page,

War is an avoidable travesty, unless it is between you and me.